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 8 Real Photographs That Prove Hell Exists on Earth

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PostSubject: 8 Real Photographs That Prove Hell Exists on Earth   Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:58 am

A wise and sagely woman once posited that
heaven is a place on a Earth. And if that’s true, then hell is just two
exits down on the left. Oh, it exists, do not doubt it. It’s real, it’s
right here and I have the goddamn pictures to prove it. Literally. These
are images damned by God.
His Coming Shall Be Foretold

“Welp, looks like we’ve angered the Hellephant again. Water? Ha ha
ha! What the fuck, Steve?! Is this your first day? No. Bill, you break
out the iron cruciforms. Gus, start stabbing the hoses into virgins.
Carl, I’m so sorry — you’re on Batchild patrol.”
This is actually an undoctored picture of a fire at a chemical
factory in the Netherlands. It took 150 firefighters to put out the
flames, and while the plant burned completely to the ground, no injuries
were recorded despite the toxic fumes. Though surrounding citizens were
warned to stay inside to avoid possible respiratory infections and
rampaging Balrogs.

His Shadow Shall Block the Sky

This is what happens immediately after you finish signing that
contract with Satan, and all you’re left with is a mysteriously echoing
laugh. This is the Fourth Sign of the Coming, right before the ground
starts bleeding but just after all cats disappear from the Earth. This
is how you know God is displeased with your selection of Pope.
OK, so it’s actually a picture of a volcanic eruption at
Fimmvorduhals in Iceland. But if you don’t think “flames overflowing the
Earth, resulting in a dark red cloud blocking out the moon itself” is
some sort of portent of the endtimes — then thanks for reading, Azazel
of the Thousand Mouths! I appreciate you taking time out of your busy
schedule of raping betrayers to read my stuff. While you’re here, maybe
you can click that Facebook share button; I bet Despair and Calthogh the
Worm would get a kick out of this shit.
The Earth Shall Bleed

What, you thought I was kidding about the Dark Eclipse coming right
before the Earth starts bleeding? What kind of horrible jackass would
joke about something like that?
This is a picture of, no shit, a place called Blood Falls in
Antarctica. Here’s the actual explanation: “2 million years ago the
Taylor Glacier sealed off a small body of water that contained a
community of microbes. This small pool of wild animals has not seen
oxygen, sunlight or heat since that time. As the earth warmed and the
glaciers in Antarctica melted away, these organisms have been
independently evolving for eons without any outside contact. Until now,
when they’ve suddenly sprung forth from the glacier. The frothy water is
rich in iron, which gives it the striking red color. These strangely
alien microbes may exist nowhere else on earth, and they give scientists
an idea of what kind of life may survive after the earth becomes
uninhabitable by almost all other life forms.”
So, there’s a place called Blood Falls, located on the frozen, cruel
and empty continent of Antarctica, that contains strange life forms
which have been sealed away for untold ages, and have now awoken and
spilled forth onto the world. Oh yeah, and they’ll probably be the last
things alive on the planet.
His Servants Are Among Us

Let’s be fair: This is just a portrait of an unfortunate woman.
Unfortunate because she’s lived just a bit too long and has grown to
resemble some horror-trope crone. Unfortunate because she’s clearly
suffering from some bizarre health issues. Unfortunate because she does
not have access to care to correct these issues. And perhaps most
unfortunate of all, because she has given her body over to demons who
now walk the Earth in human skin, only distinguishable by their black
eyes and the goddamn horns growing out of their heads.
This is most likely a common skin condition called a cutaneous horn,
which is basically just compacted keratin — the same protein in hair and
nails — protruding from the epidermis. If this is indeed a cutaneous
horn, they’re often benign and can usually be removed surgically. Though
that does not treat the underlying cause, which is either excessive sun
exposure to already damaged skin, or the devil coming to live inside
the empty shells left behind by suicides.
Beware His Little Messengers

If doves are the messengers of the Lord, then the Satanic Leaf Tailed
Gecko is probably Old Scratch’s preferred postal carrier. Though you
should know that these guys are utterly harmless. They’re tiny — usually
two to five inches long — and are endemic to the little island of
Madagascar. So you’re not likely to stumble across one in the first
place, and it certainly won’t hurt you if you do.
It won’t hurt you at all. It needs you.
It might ask you to hurt others, though. Oh, softly enough at first,
in half-heard whispers borne on the wind, but they will grow louder,
more frequent and more insistent — until one day you wake up to find
yourself in a bathtub filled with liquid that used to be your family.
And what will the Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko do? Why, just take a gander
at that picture again: It will smile, friends. It will smile.
On a Fiery Steed He Rides

This is either a picture of the exact moment that Satan busted out
his hot rod and started tearing ass into the apocalypse, or else poor
Marty’s stuck right at 87 MPH again. This photo was taken at Serra da
Leba, a landmark road in Angola, and while it hasn’t been digitally
altered, it is a long exposure taken over 60 seconds. You could cry foul
that a manipulated image shouldn’t make the list, hypothetical reader,
or you could choose to contemplate the implications of that fact
instead. Perhaps evil moves at a different speed than man; perhaps it is
a slow and creeping thing. And maybe, if you weren’t so rash, so
impulsive — if you could just stop and consider it for one little minute
— maybe you could finally trace back its fiery path.
Or hey, maybe it just looks bitchin’ and I’m trying to show you a
neat picture. Either way — shut up, hypothetical reader. God, you are
being such an ass right now!
In His Unholy House

The entrance to hell is a labyrinth. A vast, snaking maze of caverns
bathed in fire, where the lost and the damned wander, uncertain and
afraid, for untold eons. The fires burn so hot and for so long in those
twisted, screaming caves that the rock itself melts and drips down like
water. The burning liquid passes through skin like air; it fuses to
This is the only rain in hell.
And the crazy thing? That’s actually what is happening here. This is
Fort Zverev, and if you couldn’t deduce from the mockery of consonants
in that name, it’s located in Russia. They stored a napalm-like
substance in the base of the fort, which burned at temperatures of over
2000 degrees. Then, in the 1970s, the place where they stored super-fire
(hopefully to the surprise of nobody,) caught on fire. The resulting
inferno burned so hot that it melted the bricks of the walls and ceiling
so that they ran down like icicles.

The fort still stands exactly like this today. You know, just in case
you’re ever overwhelmed by the temptation of sin and want to remind
yourself where you’ll be spending eternity should you fail to mend your
lustful ways.
The Gate to His Realm

There are many different versions of the devil, and many
interpretations of what it means for him to walk the Earth. Some say he
is but a corruption of our best intentions, and that we invite him in
when we are dishonest. Others say that Satan is a literal being, but
it’s his son who will return to the world, born of a woman to trick us
into believing he is human. Me? I say the devil is like Shaft: Just
ain’t no need to be subtle when you’re a badass motherfucker and
everybody knows it. He’s going to kick open the doors of hell and charge
in, guns blazing and guitars wailing. And by the looks of these
pictures, that happened a long time ago:

This is an area outside of Darvaz in Uzbekistan. The locals call it
(surprise!) the Door to Hell. It’s the Russian equivalent of Centralia,
and like all Russian equivalents of anything, it is much, much worse
than the alternative. Whereas Centralia is a small town precariously
placed over a never-ending fire and plagued by sinkholes, the Door to
Hell was a large gas-mining camp that fell entirely into a massive
sinkhole. The Russians, being classic Russians, decided that the best
way to avoid getting poisoned by all the flammable gas in their
flammable gas mine was…to light it on fire.
That was 35 years ago; it has burned ever since.
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